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  • Writer's pictureJoan M Sotelo LMFT, LPC

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, What Is That?

Updated: Oct 11, 2019

EFT is a short-term form of therapy that focuses on restoring and repairing the emotional bond in a relationship. EFT for couples focuses on working through the difficult challenges in an intimate relationship to help the couple feel more united and connected. In about 12 to 20 sessions the therapist helps the couple understand the negative pattern of communication that often leads them into conflict.

Do you feel that this could help you and your partner?

Here is how EFT works:

When conflict arises couples get into the rut of not being able to solve any issue and easily fall into a negative cycle that always leaves them feeling disconnected. This might be what is happening in your relationship right now.

The negative cycle usually looks like one of these three ways:


• Mutually accuse, attack, or blame each other.

• Both are ready to defend, trying to find the one at fault, going back and forth between who is right or wrong.

Attack/Defend (Most Common)

• One partner demands while the other withdraws/ disconnects.

• The more one partner attacks, the more the other defends... the more one defends, the more the other continues


• Do not argue or discuss issues... they both simply avoid conversations.

• Both seem to be frozen, disengaged, or shut down.

An EFT therapist will not blame either you or your partner but rather will look at the negative cycle as the enemy that tries to destroy your relationship. The therapist will try to help you get united in transforming the negative cycle rather than them turning against each another, which is what most couples who have difficulties tend to do.

We spend time paying attention to what each of you is feeling and create a safe space were each of you is be able to share what they truly feel with one another. By creating a more real and open communication in your relationship you will be able to understand one another more and feel more connected.

The ultimate goal of EFT counseling is to help you and your partner build a strong loving bond where you can communicate freely and openly and solve you conflicts with greater understanding and unity.

Ultimately you will have a more unified relationship.

If you want to find out more feel free to email or call. If you are ready to improve your relationship and want to set up a session visit the webpage below!


120 Eldridge Rd. Sugar Land TX 77478

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