• Joan M Sotelo LMFT, LPC

5 Books To Strengthen Your Relationship!

Hi everyone! I have been wanting to write this to give you some tips on what books you can read to work on improving your marriage, relationships, and even just for yourself. I believe reading is one of the best ways we can make sure we are learning, growing and not staying stuck so we can accomplish the goals that we have for ourselves and our lives. Right now is a great time to feed your relationship and work on some areas that may need some tuning up!

I definitely recommend that you work with your therapist or counselor to help you navigate all that may come up as you read these books.

So, if you want to focus on improving your marriage or relationship, here are a few books that will help you with that:

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman.

John Gottman is a leading figure in relationship research and has done over four decade of research that predicts divorce and stable marriages. This is a wonderful book written after his research studies with couples. In his studies, Gottman was able to predict which couples would make it and which would not. This book talks about why couples don’t make it and what you can do to make sure your relationship is what you want it to be like! It has several questionnaires and tools throughout the book that you can use with your partner to identify what areas of your relationship need work and how to change that for the better. This is one of my favorite books to recommend because it addresses so many important aspects of a healthy relationship.



Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

This is a Christian faith based relationship book that incorporates psychological & scientific truths about marriages with faith-based principles. The book discusses important principles of how each partner perceives things differently and how we must learn to properly communicate and understand one another’s specific need for being loved and respected. It helps couples understand the negative cycle of communication that many get trapped in and discusses how to effectively share and communicate with one another.

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

This is a classic must-have for all couples! It is a book about how to learn to speak you partner’s love language and know how to meet their needs. Most couples are not aware of what their partner really needs. You may be trying and trying to show your love but keep missing it because you are not speaking the right language of how your partner needs to receive it. The author describes the 5 basic love languages as quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts, doing acts of service, and words of affirmation… Discover which one fills your love tank the most!

Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass

I recommend this book for any couple that has gone through the trauma of an affair. An affair can be devastating to a relationship, but it does not have to mean the end of it! There is hope for regaining trust and recovering after infidelity. This book is long but it is very informative and helps couples understand more deeply the other partner’s side of things. It also does a great job at addressing the WHY and HOW of what happened and how to properly deal with the emotions and pain. You can move forward together, but you do need the right tools on how to do it.

The Gift of Sex by Clifford Penner & Joyce Penner

Written by a therapist and nurse couple, this book addresses the topic of sex from a physiological, scientific, and faith based approach. I recommend this book for Christian couples that are struggling with their intimacy and sex life. This book incorporates very well the psychological/ mental hold ups that block couples from having more freedom in their intimacy as well as the important physical aspects of sex and intimacy. It is meant to help couples have the intimate life they desire and to freely enjoy one another.

Remember that a good relationship requires effort and intentional work. I hope these will be helpful to you and your relationship. Please feel free to reach out if you have questions!

Stay safe, healthy and read on…!

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